Diary

My thoughts to night are with someone very dear to me who is gravely ill. What else is there to do at a time like this than to savor memories, wish the family well and hope that the outcome is healthful recovery or eternal peace.

EARLIER...This was on Huffington Post this evening and I especially like it. It is from the book, "Be The Change." I may tack it on my refrigerator door, or my pillow:

1. We are not who we were yesterday
Within the space of seven years every cell in our body dies and is reformed, our thoughts are constantly changing and our feelings come and go. We are literally not the same person we were a minute ago, let alone a day, a month or a year ago. As we are no longer who we were when we did the deed, so we can bring forgiveness and hold our past self with kindness and compassion.

2. Forgiveness is not the same as forgetting
Inside us is the equivalent of an airplane's black box: everything we have been through is logged in, whether we are aware of it or not. So forgetting something is not really an option. No matter how hard we try, it will always be lurking around the corner, waiting to drag our emotions down again. On the other hand, forgiveness accepts the presence of the dreaded deed, it looks it full in the face and says, 'Yes, I know you. Now let's have tea together and get to know each other a bit better.'

3. We can learn so much from our mistakes
By getting to know who we were we have the chance to learn from what we did. We can become our own greatest teacher by seeing how mistaken we can be, even when we fully believe we are right. Mistakes show us we are human. If we do not acknowledge our blunders then we are not only blind to our own failings, but we are also much more likely to repeat them.

4. I am ok but I don't always get it right
Forgiving ourselves is not the same as forgiving what we did. A bad or rotten act is just that, and no amount of forgiveness will change it. But nor does constantly blaming ourselves. For instance, Monica made some obvious mistakes - but to continually blame herself will get her nowhere fast. What we can do is to really accept what we did while forgiving that part of us that was unaware of what we were doing or how it would impact other people; the part that just doesn't always get it right.

5. Accepting ourselves, warts and all
When we do something wrong or hurtful we tend to beat ourselves up, to try to find redemption through shame, remorse, and even self-hatred. "I am such an idiot," "My stupidity ruined everything," "I am a hopeless human being." Forgiving ourselves is the opposite. It is a radical acceptance of ourselves just as we are, mistakes and all, so that we can know ourselves more deeply and honestly. And because, in the long run, it is only through such self-acceptance that we are free to love and laugh again. Remember: Angels can fly because they take themselves lightly!

6. Letting go of the drama queen
This is one of the hardest things to do, but holding onto the story and the details of that happened is actually like a smokescreen that clouds our mind and stops us from seeing that we are more than the event, that whatever we did is not the whole of us. We can put the story down. We do not have to hold on to it, or keep repeating it in our minds. We can say: "I made a mistake, but I am not the guilt, I am not the mistake, I am not the failure, it is not the whole of me."

EARLIER...Of course, it rained again during the night and early morning. Poured. With thunder and lightning at dawn. I got up and thought about it and decided I was not going to do another boot camp dodging lightning bolts ... no matter how stimulating that may be for the blood flow. So, back to sleep for an extra hour while the rain finished doing its work. The dog, of course, quivvered under the covers beside me. Inside, in bed, a summer morning downpour is beautiful and soothing.

Received multiple emails from anonymous sources during the night, wanting me to know the landlords broker had not yet presented them with the offers that came in Monday. For some reason they thought I might know why. I do not know why. I am not in that loop. (Maybe its the landlords asking me?) I would like a buyer this week. It would change everything. But maybe its not going to happen that fast. The person who contacted me about moving Nathans to the two top floors, and making a skybar, apparently did not put in a bid, which disappoints me. His group had a promising concept.

I've also not heard back from the group who want to partner with me on an exciting reboot for the dining room. I like their idea, and think it could work, but to go forward with me now -- doable, totally doable -- requires the stomach of a riverboat gambler. I don't even have that!

Please remember to make reservations for our last Q&A of the summer. It's going to be so much fun with Jane Hitchcock. Her book is a hoot and in person she's one of the cleverest people you'll ever meet. Call Jon Moss today and make the reservation.


         

From his official bio: Jonathan Capehart is an editorial writer for The Post, specializing in national politics and environmental issues. Capehart joined the editorial board in 2007.

Prior to joining The Post, he was a member of the New York Daily News’ editorial board from 1993 to 2000. He then became National Affairs Columnist for Bloomberg News from 2000 to 2001, and left to work as a policy adviser to Michael Bloomberg in his successful campaign for Mayor of New York City.

He returned to the Daily News as deputy editor of the editorial page from 2002 to 2005.Capehart and the Daily News editorial board won the 1999 Pulitzer Prize for Editorial Writing for their editorial series on the Apollo Theater in Harlem.



Nathans Georgetown Restaurant & Saloon
Home of the Q&A Cafe, Washington DC

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